What Makes a Family

Anyone who knows me well can tell you that my favorite TV show is “The Waltons”.  Last night as I watch the final show of the final season followed by the first show of the first season, I began to think about what it was that I liked so much about this series.  I know without a doubt that it is the family.  I was blessed to come from a good family.  I had parents that loved me and sisters that were close enough in age to become my friends and playmates. When I left that safe cocoon that was my first family, I began a search for my “second” family that would take me down roads and lead me in directions I could never imagine I would experience. Getting married and having children was the easy part, but I found out that family extended beyond those wonderful beings that God allowed me to bear.  Family is about love, sharing, listening and caring.  It has nothing to do with DNA.  I have a wonderful “second” family.  It is full of people that don’t share my genetic code as well as those that do.  I have a husband that completes me like the missing piece of the puzzle I have been searching for most of my life.  My third child was born to another woman, but I love him and care for him like my own.  A day isn’t complete unless I know where all three of my children are.  My daughter married the person she loved since the first grade and I love him too.  I worried over him when he was sick and stressed for him when he had exams.  My son-in-law and I come from different worlds but he is a comfortable fit in my family.  Our son Joe has brought another member of our family to us.  I cannot imagine my life without my future daughter-in-law.  When I think about a family gathering, she is always in my mental picture. 

I had the most wonderful mother-in-law in the world.  I loved her deeply.   We were different and she didn’t always approve of me or my decisions, but she didn’t judge me.  We shared the end of every day together for over three years and I miss her more than words can say.  Today, when I tend to her grave, I still feel her.  She was family.  My family extends in many directions. There will be more additions someday.  My children will marry and hopefully there will be grandchildren.  As I think about where I am today, I think the thing that I have learned is that biology has nothing to do with being a family.  It is more about being there and showing love and understanding.  It is about making time for those we care about and showing an interest in their lives.  I thank God each day for my family.