Age Old Question

For as long as I can remember, people have pondered the age old question - What came first, the chicken or the egg?  Well, in Shawn's Barn the answer is easy--the chicken.  The question now is "Where are the eggs?"  I have been running a small little "fresh egg" business.  I have a few regular customers but word is spreading.  My six older girls have been pretty good about supplying me with merchandise but it was easy to see they were going to eventually need some help.  Soooooooo.......I bought 12 new little baby girls early this spring.  I raised them and named most of them because that is just what I do.  I name my chickens and my goats and anything else that will let me love them.  I have even noticed different personalities in the flock.  There is just one thing that I haven't noticed --EGGS.

Okay, ladies, time to squat and give me some eggs.  You girls are HUGE.  Yes, HUGE.  You are eating me out of house and barn.  I now know what a wattle is and the many different combs a chicken can have.  I have pampered you and talked to you and cleaned up after you.  Time to do your part.  Please, please, please give me some eggs.

In the meantime, the six old ladies in the barn are getting tired.  They look at me with their little round chicken eyes as if begging for a hyster-chicken-ectomy.  They have worked hard, but hey, we're a team.  I'm probably the only person in Lincoln Parish that would be really, really sad when I eventually lose a chicken.  Tommy has threatened a couple of times to make a big pot of chicken and dumplings.  Don't worry girls, mommy has your back.  Just lay me a few eggs, please.

The pictures are of two of the old ladies.
                                                            

What Makes a Family

Anyone who knows me well can tell you that my favorite TV show is “The Waltons”.  Last night as I watch the final show of the final season followed by the first show of the first season, I began to think about what it was that I liked so much about this series.  I know without a doubt that it is the family.  I was blessed to come from a good family.  I had parents that loved me and sisters that were close enough in age to become my friends and playmates. When I left that safe cocoon that was my first family, I began a search for my “second” family that would take me down roads and lead me in directions I could never imagine I would experience. Getting married and having children was the easy part, but I found out that family extended beyond those wonderful beings that God allowed me to bear.  Family is about love, sharing, listening and caring.  It has nothing to do with DNA.  I have a wonderful “second” family.  It is full of people that don’t share my genetic code as well as those that do.  I have a husband that completes me like the missing piece of the puzzle I have been searching for most of my life.  My third child was born to another woman, but I love him and care for him like my own.  A day isn’t complete unless I know where all three of my children are.  My daughter married the person she loved since the first grade and I love him too.  I worried over him when he was sick and stressed for him when he had exams.  My son-in-law and I come from different worlds but he is a comfortable fit in my family.  Our son Joe has brought another member of our family to us.  I cannot imagine my life without my future daughter-in-law.  When I think about a family gathering, she is always in my mental picture. 

I had the most wonderful mother-in-law in the world.  I loved her deeply.   We were different and she didn’t always approve of me or my decisions, but she didn’t judge me.  We shared the end of every day together for over three years and I miss her more than words can say.  Today, when I tend to her grave, I still feel her.  She was family.  My family extends in many directions. There will be more additions someday.  My children will marry and hopefully there will be grandchildren.  As I think about where I am today, I think the thing that I have learned is that biology has nothing to do with being a family.  It is more about being there and showing love and understanding.  It is about making time for those we care about and showing an interest in their lives.  I thank God each day for my family.

Then and Now

This was/is me.  I was younger then and as I remember it, very content and happy.  I have been doing some reflections of the different phases in my life.  I guess I am a lucky person.  Even though there have been times that I regret, decisions that were wrong, and choices I wish I could redo; I went through each phase much like I did as a child, content and happy.  There were does dark periods in my life when I was sad but at the end of each day I found a place inside of me that got me through and in that, there was contentment.  I think that I am just a happy person.  I don't like being around negativity because it feels foreign to me.

These are my kids minus Joe who became my son later in life.  So much of my life was devoted to raising them and loving them. This phase was such a great phase because being a mom is the best job I ever had.  I had to work very hard while they were growing up so I didn't always have the time to do everything I wanted and we did not have much money, but I loved every minute of raising my kids.  It wasn't always easy but it was always wonderful.  I loved being a danceline mom and a band mom.

I have so many passions in life.  My kids and my husband are two of them.  My photography business and my little farm are two more.  I have always been a tomboy.  When I was little my mother paniced because I asked for a football and a full set of pads for Christmas.  She was worried about that.  I got the football and a Barbi.  Hey I love dolls also and have a nice size doll collection. Here is me intently watching a high school playoff game in New Iberia.  I am a passionate Ruston High School football fan.

Now I am in my latest phase but hopefully not my last.  My kids are grown.  I don't just love my husband, but I am in love with him.

Life isn't always easy.  We face problems each day.  There have been illnesses, legal matters, hardship, loss, etc.  All of these things are the things that make me realize that I am alive.  Yet I have loved moving through the phases of my life and waiting to see what adventure tomorrow may bring.  Life for me has been a complex tapestry of events all woven together into a wonderful experience.  Without the bad times I would never have appreciated the good times.  I have kissed the cheek of my daughter on her wedding day as I handed her to the care of the man she chose for her great adventure. I have watched a jet fly overhead knowing it carried my son to a distant land.  I have transitioned over and over and I would not trade one moment of my life for anything.

Anchors A-Weigh

So I have been faithfully following my diet plan for a week and a half.  I have lost a little weight and have now graduated to stage two which means I get to alternate my solid protein days with days that include select veggies.  The funny thing is, I like my solid protein days.  I've gotten used to them.  I am supposed to weigh myself every morning.  This goes against the conventional thinking of only weighing once a week.  I'm not sure that I like this every morning thing, because my scale really isn't budging right now.  Losing weight is very difficult for me.  I haven't been able to get my walks in this week.  This is a big "no no" for the diet.  With my summer hours, I now work until five each day and have to be at work earlier.  I don't get home to after six and by the time I feed the chickens and goats, there isn't time to do much of anything.  I have a list a mile long of things I have to do.  I have picture orders to send in and pictures to work on.  I have to practice my piano because I am sure I'll be called to play in church any Sunday now.  I don't understand these people who sit around with nothing to do once their children grow up.  I know I was busy back then but I am much busier now.  I only get about five hours of sleep a night and that is usually interrupted so I don't think getting up any earlier is the answer. 

The good news is that the diet is "sort of working".  If the scale moves downward, even slowly, that is better than it moving upward.  I have discovered that the Dukan Diet is the You Can Diet, because it is doable.  As long as I don't confuse it with the Dunkin Donut Diet, I should be okay.

Fairwell to Spring

Today was my second wedding anniversary and it was the warmest day we have had this year.  Tommy and I didn't do anything special.  We were just very thankful to both be here together.  There but by the grace of God, things could have been so different.  I needed to do more outside but the heat convinced me that indoor activities were more important.  I did go spend time in "Shawn's Barn" and as always, found a sense of peace out there.  It was hot, but I love sitting in my barn.  I am making progress with my baby goats, Gus and Myrtle.  Gus will eat out of my hand and though neither wants to admit it, they are beginning to trust me.  Gus is so darn cute.  I could just hug him for hours if he would let me.  Myrtle is cute but in a different way.  She was described to me before I got her as "the bad little goat".  I knew at once I had to have her because that's how my mom always describes me.  Well, she doesn't call me a goat, but I'm the bad daughter.  I'm sandwiched inbetween the smart daughter and the baby daughter.  Maybe it is this middle child syndrome that makes me so fascinated with watching my chickens develope their pecking order.  Hey, who needs therapy.  Just go sit in a barn and somehow you begin to figure things out. 

Happy Birthday Baby!!!!!

Today was Tommy's 54th birthday.  Happy Birthday to the most wonderful husband that a girl could have. This birthday was extra special because it is the first one since I almost lost that wonderful man to pancreatitis.  This is a birthday I wasn't sure, at one point, we would see. I took the day off so we could spend it together.  Unfortunately, we did have the unpleasant business of going to Green Clinic first thing.  Tommy had to have a CAT Scan of his pancreas to monitor some pancreatic cysts that have developed.  I pretended that we got to sleep late even though we got up at our usual early hour. 

I put on a bright yellow shirt for the first time this morning.  When I looked in the mirror, I looked like a giant lemon sitting on top of a pair of blue jeans.  If I had been wearing yellow pants, I would have looked like a summer squash on steroids. Lordy, I hope this diet works.  I notice when I look in the mirror I squint my eyes.  I look thinner if I squint my eyes.  Note to self--keep eyes wide open and see the real picture no matter how painful it is.

Well, back to the day.  We celebrated Tommy's birthday by going to Bass Pro in Shreveport.  Bass pro...where a man feels like a man and a woman is just sort of bored.  I amused myself for about 30 minutes in woman's apparel and home decor, but there are just so many camouflaged dishes and rugs with deer on them that one can look at.  I found Tommy in the fly fishing shop.  He had a great time examining every fly and hook in the place.  How I love that man.  Now here is where the day got interesting.  We decided to go eat lunch.  That's right, Miss "Can Only Eat Meat and Eggs" had to order something from a menu in a restaurant.  The good news is that I somehow managed.  I chomped on a piece of sausage and chicken while Tommy sat across from me enjoying potatoes and onion strings.  Interesting enough, I was delusional all day and felt thin.  Yes, that's right.  In spite of looking like a lemon sitting on top of blue jeans and in spite of being on a diet for a mere three days, in my little fantasy world I felt skinny.  I made sure to avoid all reflective surfaces so that reality would not crash in on me.  Maybe there is something in meat that causes insanity.  OMG-Mad Cow Disease :(

Seconds Please

This is day two of my blog and day two of my diet.  Yes, my diet, and I write that with a grimace not a smile.  Last week I went to the doctor only to find out that I am getting old and need to lose weight.  This is a fact that somehow I was unaware of even though I looked in the mirror each day and saw that number on the scale creeping higher and higher.  Funny how one can justify those things if they want.  I was convinced I wore the heaviest clothes a person could find and all that grey hair was nothing but how the light shines on my head in my bathroom.  So I find myself on a high protein, low carbohydrate diet--the perfect choice for a girl who doesn't care for meat and is a self proclaimed chocoholic. Day one was scary and day two......well, lets just say I have stuck to the plan.  I am following the Dukan Diet and from all accounts, the first couple of weeks are the worst.  I can have all the lean meat and eggs that I want.  Oh, how I wish I could bite down on something that would crunch.  Yet, despite it all, I have made it through day two.  I did have a close call when I went out to "Shawn's Barn" to feed the goats.  I almost pushed Gus and Myrtle's heads out of the bucket so I could stick my own head into all that yummy, carbohydrate laden, GOAT FEED.  Yum Yum.  Oh, and those chickens had better watch out because eggs are one of the few things that I can eat.  I'm snatching them out from under those girls so fast they are getting confused.  They have these looks on their faces like "I thought I laid an egg, but....maybe not."

Well, anyhoo, it was a day of seconds and a day of "Sorry you can't have any seconds.  You are on a DIET."  Is it any wonder that diet is a four letter word? 

My First Blog

Okay, so this is my very first blog.  I am not even sure that I will be able to find it again.  I fall into the "old dog learning new tricks" category, so my first blog may be my last.  Anyhow, when I was trying to think about a title that describes me, I could not come up with anything at all.  Then my mind began to wander and I realized that I was daydreaming about being in my barn and playing with my little baby goats.  I guess in my 48 years of living I am the most happy now and much of that happiness is due to me finally finding that place in life where dreams begin to turn into reality.  I have many, many dreams but for most of my life they remained just that--dreams.  Now I am entering that phase of my life when things are different.  My kids are grown.  There are no grandchildren to plan around.  I would not say I am financially stable but there is a roof over my head and food on my table.  I am married to a man who shares my dreams and enjoys hard work.  I am finally able to put energy and effort into things that once I only dreamed about.  I have a photography business that I love.  I have a barn full of chickens and a couple of goats that I love.  I sit on the front porch (that I love) and breathe in the fresh air and reflect on how this "big city girl" ended up here.  I have a simple life but a fulfilling one.  My blog will probably be boring but to me "boring" is a very good thing.